Worst reaction to “I’m pregnant” ever!


I was 22 years old, a sailor in the Royal Navy with zero responsibilities, travelling the world, young, fun and full of cum. Living the dream!


I was back in Hereford for Christmas leave. Now, this literally revolved around one thing the Navy do very well…drinking….ok two things, drinking and contrary to popular belief, women. It was during this time that I met the mother of my eldest daughter Ella. Things were pretty casual and to be honest we didn’t have a lot in common, if anything! I tried calling things off but when it came to it and I was faced with a woman in tears…I bottled it and the relationship carried on blindly.

Skip forward a couple of months and while I’m on a night out I get a text…”YOU NEED TO COME TO MINE, WE NEED TO TALK” but I was having a good time, I didn’t want to cut my night short to TALK! So I carried on oblivious to the importance of this, until I get another message which simply read…”I’M PREGNANT”. I walked back, half pissed, half in denial that anything like this could happen to me.

This doesn’t happen to me, this is Jeremy Kyle kind of shit. Fuck, what am I going to do if this is true? I’m going to be so pissed off if this a trick to get me to come home early!

All these different thoughts were rushing around my head and as it turns out, it wasn’t a trick, this was real life and it was happening to me. I’ve never felt so trapped in all my life and this was hands down THE most scared I’ve ever been. I didn’t know what to do, who to tell (don’t tell your friends in this situation btw, they will just laugh. Not helpful.) My whole life was in complete turmoil. I couldn’t process it. It’s the only time I’ve not felt in control of myself or my mind and so I decided the best thing for me to do was just leave. I wasn’t sure where but I knew I couldn’t be there.

I packed a bag and got on the train to Birmingham New Street with a pack of 4 beers and 20 cigs (I didn’t even smoke!) where I met a good friend of mine. We talked it out over a few pints but it didn’t change my mindset. I’d lost it. I went to the bank the next day and got out a £6k loan and then onto Birmingham Int. Airport where I wanted to board the next flight to New York! (I’d been there on my last tour and had a great time…that was literally my immature thought process at this time!) But….it wasn’t meant to be, there were no last minute spaces on those flights and I wasn’t willing to wait for days on end so went back to my mate’s house, a lost boy.

I had my parents trying to call me, the mother of my unborn child calling and multiple voicemails from a Warrant Officer at HMS Drake in Plymouth asking me to contact him asap, informing me that I was indeed AWOL and if I didn’t report back to him Monday (this was left last thing on Friday) then the MOD police would come looking for me. So, fuck it, I spent the weekend in Birmingham on the piss putting a dent in that 6k loan then decided it best to go back on Monday and face the music.

You will not believe this part of my harrowing story and how unbelievably lucky I was. I returned back in Plymouth on the Monday morning and reported to the Warrant Officer in charge. The conversation went like this…

“ET FULLBROOK Sir, you asked me to report to you this morning?”                                               “Ah, that wouldn’t have been me, that would’ve been the other Warrant Officer, he’s got a new job and has gone on draft as of this morning, I’m his replacement. What can I do for you?”

Sensing the opportunity of a lifetime, I blagged….

“Er…I’m in need of a job at HMS Drake while I wait for HMS Chatham to come back alongside as I have a medical booked in.” (That bit was true)

He sorted me out with work and nothing else got said! I couldn’t believe my lucky stars! What a week I’d had.

After all that, I finally came around to the idea of being a Dad and stepped up and I’ve been there for my daughter ever since. She’s 8 years old now and I wouldn’t change her for the world. Needless to say that the relationship I had with her mum didn’t last but then I knew she wasn’t ‘the one’ from the start.

The Navy didn’t make me a man. My daughter did.

(Can anyone beat that???)


All Growed Up

Life. Fatherhood. It’s funny isn’t it. I mean, I’ve lived my teens and twenties thinking I was invincible through clouded, drunken judgment, thinking I was Peter Pan in Never Never Land. I was always out, always socialising, never paying much thought as to what I would actually end up doing with my life. I spent my early twenties in the Royal Navy, which in all honesty just endorsed this lifestyle even more, a real drinking culture, full of banter and travel, which is great when you’re young with no responsibilities!

But now, a thirty two year old with a wife and 3 children (that still feels weird to say), a house in the country and weekends spent doing the ‘big shop’, DIY or mowing the lawn…but here’s the strange bit….I feel exactly the same as I used to in my twenties! This isn’t a revelation though, right? but to me it was, I genuinely thought as I got older I would end up thinking differently but I don’t…I still jump at the opportunity to get out on the beers (given the chance) even if it does take 2 days to recover, I still laugh at farts and find doing ‘the helicopter’ in my wife’s face of a morning, hilarious!

It’s just that now, I also share my life with 3 amazing little humans that depend so much on me, they depend on me to show them right and wrong, show them the world and how to avoid the pitfalls of every day life, so I’ve come to realise that what changes are your priorities, not your mind.

Being grown up isn’t all that bad, it’s just unexpected somehow and it’s not until you have children that you realise everyone is in the same clueless, tiring struggle to be the best parents without a handbook…and that in itself is quite comforting.  dsc00577